I’ve always wanted to blog. Serious blogging, I mean. Be a committed blogger. I’ve created a few here and there, over the years, but they’ve never lasted. I feel as though this could potentially be a good thing for the soul. So, here it goes.
As I sit here and contemplate what I will write about I find that I’ve already put pressure on myself. My first post has to be perfect, it has to be deep and meaningful, it has to get people thinking, right? It sets the pace for the entire blog.
Because if this is something I desire to do, I need to do it not to please man. It needs not be a way to validate myself and my words. I cannot find worth in this. I cannot worry over what someone may say or think after reading it. I cannot worry about saying exactly the right thing, or the terribly wrong thing. I need to just write, or type in this case.
I am not sure where this will go, or what I will even talk about on here. I am sure it will look well organized at times and a complete jumble at others, but I do hope this page is only ever of encouragement to anyone who stumbles upon it.
“Kind words are like honey, sweet to the soul & healing to the bones” Proverbs 16:24
As seasons come and go in my life, I often find myself looking for value in many things. School and grades, job performance, relationships, money, how much materialistic things I own, ministries, I could go on, but I won’t. Quickly, you can get caught up in trying to live up to a certain standard that you’ve either set yourself or maybe one that someone has set for you. You have to get straight A’s or always be on top of your game. You have to pour deeply into every friendship you have and be that “perfect” friend, but you also have to have enough friends to be considered social. Your relationship has to look just like everyone else’s on social media or it’s not good enough. You have to make enough money to support yourself, but feel shame if you ever have to get help. You have to have those new shoes, or new bag, or be doing what everyone else is doing, and don’t forget to post a pic (I’ve totally fallen into that category multiple times, dang social pressures!).
However, in my opinion, what gets me the most is finding my worth in ministries. It’s a subtle one. One you may not even realize you’re doing. One I didn’t even realize for a while. It’s for Jesus, right? There’s no way I could be finding my value in my ministry, when He is so clearly the center of that ministry. All it’s about is Jesus, how do you get caught finding worth in the organization, rather the Savior?
Comparison sneaks in. Doubt rises. And it becomes a tangled mess.
Instead of saying, “Hey God, I know that YOU have fearfully and wonderfully made me, that YOU will provide, and that YOU give me strength,” you begin saying “I have to be more like that person, I have to do this in order for the ministry to flourish, I have to be strong.” The Yous turn to Is. And your eyes flicker away from the King.
And I realize not all may be a part of an established ministry, but I believe, if you are living your life for Jesus Christ, your life IS your ministry. Do not all those things above, apply as well?
I have come to realize that declaring once or twice that I find my worth in Jesus, is not enough. It has to be a daily occurrence. I have to constantly whisper it to my soul, some days I have to cry it out over the noise around me, some days I am sweetly reminded by the Creator himself, and other days I forget it. But it is truth. And it has to be a truth proclaimed non-stop or this world will try to steal it from you.
Fortunately, the days that I do forget, does not lessen my value. God paid a very high price for me. For you. It cost Jesus his life. But he did so, that I do not need to live looking for worth and value in all these other places. I just need to look to Him. And He will reassure me.
You are loved dear friend, loved to death. You are valued by the Creator of the universe. You are fearfully and wonderfully made. You are known. And you are treasured, greatly.
I am making a commitment to mediate on one of these verses below each day, to remind myself of where my worth is found, in God alone.
- “Not even a single sparrow is forgotten by God; and you are worth more than many sparrows. Indeed, even the very hairs of your head are all numbered.” Luke 12:6-7
- “But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” Romans 5:8
- “For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.” Psalm 139:13-14
- “You are altogether beautiful, my love; there is no flaw in you.” Song of Solomon 4:7
- “He brought me to the banqueting house, and his banner over me was love.” Song of Solomon 2:4
- “The Lord your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing.” Zephaniah 3:17
- “Because you are precious in my eyes, and honored, and I love you..” Isaiah 43:4
Maybe, just maybe, you can meditate on one of these the next time Instagram tries to steal your worth, or that failed exam tries to take your value. Because you are greater than all those things, and you are valued above all.